between me and you long before anyone knew I prayed for the gifts of courage strength and grace

to handle what ever it was I was to face these gifts were granted and given to me

then I became a mother to be vivid memories are etched deep in my mind

when I’d gently be rubbing that tummy of mine and

whispering to you all will be fine anticipation of your birth was such a special thrill

a dream come true that was being fulfilled preparations were made

with love joy and cheer and to make things more interesting just enough fear all that was done

was with heart felt sincere for one day soon you would be here thankful for not knowing

what was in store I was forced to use these gifts and more I took for granted

your lives would be extended for everyone to see including me known only by God

your time would be so short and that your destiny would be while still inside of me physical ties are broken

your spirit lives as a token so I may send my love to you through thoughts that go unspoken in this lifetime

I will never comprehend why it happened again and again a childless mother was not in my plan

if been given a choice I’d have taken the time to count your fingers and toes touch my finger to your nose

kiss your body from head to feet caress your beautiful baby face and sing to you a lullaby

while I gaze into your innocent eyes cradle your precious little body close and tight to mine

then rock you to sleep just one time it took a long time for me to come to terms

my life and mind had to make a turn anger sadness frustration and pain dwelling on the negative

there was nothing to gain my hope was dwindling yet a little still remained and that was used

to help me reclaim the positive in my life that still remained after much soul searching

and shedding countless tears I learned to accept through the years it just wasn’t meant for my children

to be here it’s the letting go that comes so slow hanging on to you whom I never did hold it takes its toll

on body and soul I look back and view at how much I grew in a time that seemed so endlessly sad

all I know it’s my faith that keeps me going knowing the answer to the question of why

I’ll somehow understand when I die spared of the worries and fears parents face

there’s great peace in knowing you’re happy and safe that’s a blessing no one can take

the experience of "time heals" is so painfully true yet we’re blessed to be of the chosen few

that still has a family to look forward to my obsession to hold you is all but through

my day will come I’ll be able to left standing with a broken heart

and faith that seemed to have fallen apart alone and confused as to what I was to do

a nudge came from above sweetly saying to me it’s time to move on I’ll help you get through

knowing I couldn’t live if these feelings were to last I began the important task

of placing this in my past it was prayer for strength as my only request

and to never forget or harbor regret support came from strangers and sources from all around

I was proven wrong they were out there to be found time I can’t rush but after time

I learned to adjust through this trial strangely enough it’s now I see

my faith is stronger I ever dreamed it would be

I’m not quite sure my setting you free was as much for you as it was for me

go my little angels don’t wait at the gate you’re free to enjoy heaven’s peace and harmony

when the Lord calls for your dad and me that’s when we’ll celebrate

peacefully in eternity as a family strange in a way I wouldn’t be me without the loss of you I love you all

above and beyond and feel it bounce back by our awesome bond I’m proud to be your mom

Teresa Limberg

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Email Teresa Limberg:  ELUTAPITKN@AOL.COM

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